16 years of living hell with a pycopath

by lisa
(queencreek,az)

I have been married to a man for 16 years that is a controlling person he blames everyone but himself for anything that goes wrong! he blames me for everything when he is the one that is doing everything wrong in our relationship he cheats does drugs spends money out of control but he still manages to keep his job! he talks badly about everybody even people sitting right next to us in a restaurant he will make fun of them!!! one time a lady heard him and confronted him about it and he turned it all on her telling her she was the one making the scene not him I have recenlty filed for divorce because he is a very abusive person and i couldn't take his abuse anymore I am sure he has found someone else and she will soon be the one to get controlled not me or his 2 other marriages before me I know i have to heal from all of this and my 2 teenage daughter also are probably going to need counseling its a sad thing but i am glad to be finally free i never thought i was going to get out.......

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Dec 15, 2016
 Lisa I feel your pain!
by: Matisse

Lisa I feel your pain! It has been many years with my Narcissistic husband too. Too many! I only hope you realize more and more it's him. They are very tricky and good at making you think it is them.
Once you stand back be silent and watch you realize they are fools.
They have no self esteem or confidence and need someone to blame everything on. Take care of you and become stronger with a good support group. If you don't have one find one. I sometimes just laugh at how stupid my husband can be. It's insane and it is them that's all you need to know. Take Care! Matisse-
Dec 15, 2016
 Be careful Narcissists are cold... hard to recover from their abuse!
by: Matisse

Yes I am not the same person after many years of my Narcissist husband and his treatment of me. He has always blamed me for everything... then has explosions and tells me I make him furious! Plus, he blames like gas attendants, cooks, waitresses if his food is wrong or they mess up in his mind. When I ask him about something he did wrong. What are you talking about? Yeah his big question to me always. He never did anything wrong it had to be me! Nothing he is perfect! How dare I ask him any question like that.
He hates criticism the tiniest thing will make him yell. He has broken pitchers and yes even thrown a printer across the room. To other people he is such a sweet and kind man in public. All that matters is what he wants I don't get my way ever. If I can't go somewhere ill don't worry he goes alone and has fun. Cares less if I'm sick. At least he had a blast! It's pretty much about him all the time I only wish I was exaggerating here. Good luck to all of you that have dealt with the narcissist. It's been a nightmare and I have endured a lot of pain with very little empathy. Mostly blank stares. Stinks!
Sep 08, 2016
 confused
by: Anonymous

Ive been with my bf for 8 yrs. We met when I was working at a correctional facility and I've stuck withhim through his8 yr sentence. Well, now he's home and I can't stand him. He's very controlling and picks at every single thing I di. I feel like I cant even breathe right around him. I did love him but he has pushedmeso far that I'll make any excuse gust not to be around him. He starts arrangements with me every time we talk and it's always my fault. Im quiet and he's the talker. And everytimei tell himi cant take his bad mouthing me, his famous words are " I didn't say anything"!. And he's the one doing all the talking (or bitching) per say. I know there's 2 sides to every story and this ain't my fist rodeo. Ive been married once and dayed. But never have I been through such mind playing games such as this one.
Aug 15, 2015
 can be multiple mental illnesses
by: Anonymous

Im in a similar situation. Nothing I say or do,is right. Embarrassed in public by his actions, but my research is tells me, he could be bipolar or borderline personality disorder. All are in denial and refuse treatment. Sad that I didn't see this in the years I've spoken to him. Married less than a year and ready to move on, cause I see no hope.
Jun 13, 2015
 A victim too
by: Anonymous

I've been married for almost 18 years and had relationship for almost 8 years prior to marriage. His first my 3rd we have no children but we took in my daughters 2 boys to live with us,the now 13 year old is constantly in trouble on probation now and everything I say or do to teach him right things being the mom of 3 grown children him never a dad tells me I'm not doing things right or saying the right thing and belittles me in front of them and then says they don't respect you because you have to earn it. He did by using his temper and physical touching to scare them. I cry everyday I'm so torn I feel like I should leave him his drinking almost a 12 pack nightly and getting belligerent and name calling. I'm at my wits end with this daily stress of never knowing when he gets home from work what will set him off that I did wrong. He walks around like he's God. I'm disgusted with him. I feel for anyone that has to experience what I have. God Bless
Sep 16, 2014
 From the other side..
by: Dazed and confused

Finally came to the realization that I'm fighting a losing a battle after understanding I have been with a narcissist for quite some time, 17 years. Thought it was me too, except in this case, it's a she who's the deceptive narcissist. Starting to heal and recognize the signs. Going to have to make a break, which i'm pretty sure won't be pretty.
Mar 26, 2013
 New day!
by: Anonymous

It's hard to believe there are emotional predators like this.Same thing.I'm always wrong.Always. He's never sorry,never wrong and will always have a justification for his actions.The physical abuse has escalated.He gives a great performance in front of my children.When i turn the corner he gives them an eye roll to let them know i am not to be respected or taken seriously.When a fight ensues my kids are sure to blame me."Why can't you just do what dad tells you too.? Your always making him mad."He broke my foot and then blames me for all the slack he has to pick up.Housework,taking the kids to school etc..Calls me an a-hole when i complain about the pain.How dare i complain when he's been taking such good care of me!I hope this man has taught you to be a survivor because mine sure has.No matter what we still matter. I hope you have found peace. God bless
Aug 10, 2012
 Much love
by: Marie

Lisa, my heart and prayers go out to you... I wish you the very best, you deserve to be happy, you are a lovely person who deserves all the love in the world! Be strong girl!!!
Jul 31, 2012
 freedom
by: Anonymous

it's great that you have got out of worse life now you feel freedom .

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