Confidence Humor

I thought some confidence humor might be in order to lighten things up a little. Building confidence can sometimes seem like such a serious and overwhelming subject. I think it's important to keep your sense of humor and to just relax and enjoy the moment so to help I thought I'd include some funny sayings and jokes I've gathered in regards to confidence.

Hope you enjoy them.

Life Lesson in 2 Words

Here's a skit from Mad TV with Bob Newhart. It's very funny. Of course solving all issues isn't always this easy but for some of our fears, it could actually be a good thing to remember.

A Real Groaner
A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.

A Valuable Life Lesson

author unknown
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand, "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive.

He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the Shredder machine. "I just need one copy."

Life Lesson: NEVER, NEVER assume that your boss knows everything

It's All In How You Look At Things

• A pessimist sees the glass as half empty, the optimist sees it as half full, and to the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
• If the world didn't suck, you'd fall off.
• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
• Which runs faster, heat or cold?
  Heat, everyone knows you can catch a cold.
• My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
• Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
• Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
• Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
• We can't change the weather, we can only accept it which means we should all learn from the weather; it pays no attention to criticism.

The End Is Near
A priest and a pastor from the local churches are standing by the side of the road, pounding a sign into the ground that reads: "The End Is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now -- Before It's Too Late!"

As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

The pastor turns to the priest and asks, "Do you think the sign should just say 'Bridge Out'?"



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