Blamer in My life

by Bernice
(va.)

Hi My name is Bernice and a lot of what I have read sounds familiar . I am feeling helpless and worthless.

I want a healthy relationship one of the request we talked about before we were married. Now, we are married and I am not happy. I need help defending myself. Can you help me?

Comments for Blamer in My life

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Feb 09, 2011
 confused
by: anonymous 83

I have been married to my husband for about 3 yrs. I too am in a situation where he belittles me, makes me feel like a majority of his problems are my fault. I am a stay at home mom to our 2.5 yr old daughter. He constantly tells me that I am lazy and staying home with our daughter is easy work. I should be kissing his behind for paying all the bills at home. I clean, make him 3 meals a day, take care of my daughter. All the things a wife should do but it is never enough. Not to mention I am in college trying to finish my degree. I am 27 yrs old and he constantly reminds me that I am a loser b/c i have not gotten my degree yet. He has gotten physical with me before and continues to do so when he feels i speak to him disrespectful. Although he has not punched me or beat me he will push me against the wall or grab me very hard. I don't know what to do because at times he is awesome. People around us would never know because he acts so nice and charming to everyone even my family or neighbors. My daughter is absolutely crazy about her dad and I would never want to take that away from her. I cannot speak to my family because they live in another state and I wouldnt want to worry them. There is nothing they could do for me. I have tried to be nice and positive towards him but he still continues his mean ways. Not to mention he has a drinking problem and has a father that is a mirror image of him. I dont know what to do anymore. Please help!
Jan 28, 2011
 Dealing with my husband...
by: anonymous

My husband and I have been married only a year. He has lied to me, covered up his mistakes, bullies and belittles me. Calls me names like codependent. I know what that means and I am not needy, I simply want a loving, affectionate relationship with my husband. But he will blame me otherwise for his stress, saying I'm too needy and too smothering. And we fight every single day. And it's always me that winds up apologizing. He has no problem calling me crazy or psycho. I feel helpless because I love this man and want a life with him but his emotional abuse hurts just too much. I'm not sure what to do. I don't think he will ever change. I've thought about divorcing him many times because whenever he's around I tense up and get so scared I'll say the wrong thing in the wrong way. And when he's leaves for work a huge weight is always lifted off my shoulders. If anyone has advice please give me some!
Apr 14, 2009
 Best Wishes
by: Well Wisher

Dear Bernice,

I totally heart you. I have been dating this guy for just nearly two years and have often felt drained each time I have conflicts with him. It's always go a big round and I end up apologising for it while he doesn't bother to be sincere about his mistakes. It's never, ever his fault even when it's his.

I wish you all the best and that you will find the energy to carry on with life. I wish you happiness.
Oct 10, 2008
 HOPE AGAINST HOPE!
by: Anonymous

Dear Bernice You Are SPECIAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Try to find some positive people to help boost your spirits, ego, etc. Keep reading the EXCELLENT information on this site. Try to find someone that you trust that has a good listening ear so that you can talk out how you feel. Cheer up! Look up! :)
Aug 31, 2008
 Everyone has worth because they exist
by: Delores

Hi Bernice,
I want to you that you have worth because you are who you are. No one has a right to tell you, or make you feel helpless or worthless. YOUR FEELINGS ARE YOUR FEELINGS AND KNOW God loves you and so do I because you exist, not because of what you have done or not done or who you are or who you are not.. Let me tell you a little story about a group of ladies called Agape Force who years ago went to Maple Lane School for boys. We would go several times a year to these sons, brothers, grandsons, Nephews of someone to share they were loved just because they existed, not because of what they did or did not do .We did not have a lot of money but we had love to give. We baked cookies and made gift bags on Valentines Day, Easter and Christmas. For some of us it was scary to walk through the doors and be locked in, but you know what? it was so worth it, because they needed to know they were loved by someone. I hope this helps you some. Just know I care even though I do not know you. I do care. Some one cares about you right now.

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