controlling relationship

by Janet
(England)

Women beware of getting involved when you are vulnerable. I was widowed 2 years ago and within 7 months I had a very helpful man recommended to help me with my finances - I have paid a terrible price and I have been left an emotional wreck. He was so charming, showered me with flowers, gifts, even paid for the odd holiday. Very, very slowly he invaded every bit of space I had. It was all a plan.

My family and friends avoided being with me because he was always around. He didn't like the magazines I read, didn't like soap operas. All very innocuous to start with but as time went on he would listen to my answerphone messages, follow me, check up on me, read my mail, emails etc, accused me of having affairs. I was a liar if I didn't repeat things correctly. If I said anything he would use his voice in a way that was either sad or angry etc which made me feel guilty. - I didn't realise it at the time but he was using NLP techniques to control me.

I look out of a window and I'm looking at someone else or I''m bored, I am always in the wrong never him. He appeared to be Mr Wonderful but turned out to be a controlling, manipulative cad.

My hair has fallen out, my self esteem is at an all time low. Don't be taken in like I was.

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Visitor's Comments

Date: January 17, 2008
Posted by: Catherine, www.Life-With-Confidence.com

Janet,

I'm so, so sorry to hear what happened to you. That's horrible and you didn't deserve to be treated like that. I'm so glad that you're now out of that relationship and are working to heal yourself. Your warning is a good one for others. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you rebuild your confidence and self esteem. You're a strong woman to have figured out what this horrible person was doing and also to be willing to share your story to help others. I'm sending you a BIG virtual hug. Take very special care of yourself. And, do let me know if there is anything at all I can do to help.