Fiance i should of known, but never wanted to believe

by Skye Ash
(Kentucky)

So i started this relationship with this girl whom i had known since we were very young, since about 13 years of age. Now we would both be 19 and she would have a baby girl 3 months of age, with someone who was in the military. Now i knew starting this relationship was a very impulsive decision seeing as how i would never be a home wrecker for simply i am not the type who wants bad karma, or want to cause harm to others when not needed. Expectually to someone serving our country. As her and i first spent time together she tried to have sex the first night, being the person i am and the outlook i have apon sex i was not very intreague'd and didnt enjoy the situation very much, but this was my chance with the girl i had always dreamed about when i was younger "LITERALLY" and she munipulated me into believe her husband wasnt good to her and never asked about the baby or how the baby was doing. This being said to me i fell for it, slowling falling deeper and deeper into this corruption filled web of lies and munipulation. So the baby was only threee months when i first ever met her, immediately i fell in love, me being 19 and never having a single responsibility my family was suprised at how futurnal i was how fast the baby would learning because of me, her father never wanted to see her and only used the baby for lean to just talk to his ex wife. Not because he really cared for the baby, this i know because i have been in this situation for the past year and i know every single situation that has happened. i am a person who takes apart siutuations and puts them together like a puzzle to answer a question or mystery i may have just popped up or seemed a little out of the ordinary to me. Being that i have delt with narcicisst my entire life from my mother who was abusive verbally and physically, to past ex's from the ages of 14 to present, i have seem to attract these what seems like heartless people. Well to make a long story short, she had left her husband for me, the baby called me daddy, and she would make me watch the baby everyday while she went off to do whatever she wanted with whom ever she wanted. i've almost always gotten this sense if you well maybe you could say like a 6th sense in a scyphy world i suppose.but as i was saying these feeling would always pop up in the most random times, and its the kind of feeling when you know something is wrong. this ability to sense whne something is wrong has strengthend since i was younger by alot, to the point where i am correct about my feeling and can almost guess what happened. Crazy i know, but believe it im not a liar lol. Soo come to find out i had found out about all these peopel she had been with and i took her back, this happened maybe 3 times from her ex husband to an old boyfriend, everytime i couldnt help but take her back, the thought of being without her left me hopeless adn the baby might as well be my blood because of how much love and devotion i was ready to give my life for the baby and her. the thought of life without them was embarable and to this day still is. SO now we are a tthe present we broke up about 2 weeks ago, she is leading me on and basically using me to watch the baby, and is very rude and blames her being rude and ignoring my calls not talking to me and flirting/have sex, with other people on me, she says its how i use to treat her. lol now let me tell you a little more details on what all kind of a person she is, when she would yell when we were argueing and then i would yell back at her she would hit me in my face multiple time, now i am a little bit of an anger type of person, takes alot. adn this girl could never get me there lol. But she would beat the fuck out of me, not make me bleed but she hit me in my ears a few times, and thats ot pleasant lol. but like you said about how the blamers try and blame you and lie to other people and say you do the things they do to you. well she would try and get pitty from everyone she could snd tell her mother friends and who knows else that i beat her, and she left me because she was sick of it. Now back to the present, What really she left me for was because we both decided to delete our facebook mutual decision. But then i just so happen to hear from my mother that she has a facebook, now a few days prior to this incident she had gotten a new cellphone now, this is something else that just pushed my buttons, it seems as if these blamers can munipulate you soo much that you truly just do what they say. She would hide her battery to her phone every time she came home just so i wouldnt go through it, not that i wanted to anyways god knows what i would find, and i wasnt trying to feel depressed over her leing and talking to people agian so i never tried, when i found out about the facebook she had lied about and tried to hide, i went off when she came home and that is the exact reason she left me this last time. Telling me i never spend time with her or pay attention. Now i took and still take care fo the baby almost every single day and when she has her she is at the daycare. Not a very good mother AT ALL. So come to find out she was talking to this guy that she met at her work, now this was after she left me and went to live at her moms say about 2 weeks ago. I found out they had been talking, and the guy she was talking to i knew him in highschool, he is about 5 foot 4 inches tall and weighs about 125 pounds, he wrestled and was horrible. always tried to get pitty from everything and make them feel bad for him because his uncle was abusive, he was 18 at the time iknew him i mean really couldnt you call the cops? Anyways, so i guess she thought this kid was cool and started to kick it with him. about a week later she realized what a douchebag and creeper this kid and told him to screw off. now i've found out they had sex and she is lieing telling me all these things sounded like i sound when i am stressing over her, but yet when i say something abou tthis person she talked to or that i heard they had sex, she denies everything and immediatly starts to accuse me of wrong doings and shuts me down quicker than i can even reply, she hangs the phone up. Its so hard not to call bakc a billion times because when i get depressed and angry and know i cant do something about hte situation, i tend to sort of lose control of my rationality and just go all out and try to talk it out, and let her know how hurt i am, this as you said is the worste thing you can do, this makes them feel in control of the situation and makes them feel even more untouchable, and they think they can lie more for no reason and go mess around perhaps party while they're baby is with you. Which i do not mind because i feel safer when she's with me anyways, but the point being, you are suppose to be a grown women now, a child has been brought into this earth because of you, you left your husband for me and i have doen nothing but be exceptign of you and forgiving because i loved her of course, but this only makes them feel more sneaky and think they can get away with more. I just want to know what is the best way to not think about this person? she is always around her friends so i know thats how she keeps her mind off of me, but even when im with my friends my mind still stays on her. Its just not fare and im sick of the mind games, i mean isnt it something to be different from every other person in this world, because i beleive everyone who will read this knows these type of people cover this earth like an infection. Just know if you have a feeling like something wrong with one of these types of people. Listen to it, 9 out of 10 times the feeling you have is true. If only these types of people would realize how much difference they would make in the world if they just appreciated the people who care for them most.

I wish everyone a blessed christmas and a happy new year 2012