Your Happiness Depends On Doing This

And the most important one of all:

Your life is made up of experiences and how you respond to those experiences. So, when you never focus your attention, you're depriving yourself of truly living.

Rapt: Attention and the Focused Life

It's Addictive and You're Damaging Your Brain, Permanently. 
Research shows that when you're constantly multi-tasking, your intelligence goes down and you may also be doing permanent damage to your brain.

The fractured state of mind is also very addictive which means that the more you do it, the more you crave it and thus the more damage you do to your brain. One of the reasons, it's so addictive is because every time you switch tasks, the brain releases a chemical which makes you feel good called dopamine so you get a buzz which makes you feel like you're more powerful and effective even though you're not really being effective at all.

Being in a fractured state of mind is also far easier to do over deep thinking which is another reason why it's far more attractive and addictive to our minds than deep thinking. Deep thinking requires far more brain energy which is why you find it harder to concentrate if you're hungry.

Increasing Sense of Emptiness
You can see how if the brain isn't able to do it's much needed processing then the consequence is also that you're going to develop an increasing sense of emptiness. And, what do we tend to do when we feel sad or bored or empty? We look for something to distract ourselves or become even more busy and end up making the problem even worse.

As Crabbe says, "Our stimulation devices are helping us avoid doing the critical psychological work we need to do to become whole." "If we fail to spend time with our thoughts and worries, we can't learn from them and grow stronger." "If we fail to spend time inside ourselves, we can't become ourselves, in all our possibilities and potential."

So, by being constantly busy, you're causing your own increasing feelings of discontent.

Can't Enjoy Your Activities

I'm sure you've heard of being in "the zone" or being in "flow". These are the times when you are so focused on one thing that time flies without you realizing. Being in this state of mind is when happiness can occur. This is also the time when breakthroughs and new ideas will come to you something that can't occur in a fractured state. You will also complete your work far faster than if you continually try to multi-task.

Also, think back to the most memorable, enjoyable moment that happened to you last week. It'll absolutely be a moment when you were focusing your attention on something. How many enjoyable moments are you missing out on because you're too fractured to notice?

"We achieve happiness through deep engagement in what we are doing, whatever it is." Crabbe

Part of what makes fractured attention so tempting is that it's easy and it also gives you the feeling that you're accomplishing a lot. For example, if you can empty your email inbox, you'll  feel like you've been productive. So, you'll choose the many, less important tasks over the one task that will require more concentrated thinking. But in the end, those minor activities are not increasing the enjoyment of your life. They're not increasing your sense of accomplishment either.

Build Confidence
As Bob Starkey says, "The good news is that every time you complete a major task, you experience a surge of energy, enthusiasm, and self-esteem. You feel terrific about yourself. You feel happy and elated. You feel like a winner."

Completing the big task also means that you increase your confidence because you can see progress and you can see what you can accomplish if you actually take the time to focus.

So, there's far more benefit to focusing your attention on completing one big task rather than a dozen ultimately meaningless tasks.

I Won't Get Everything I Need To Do Done If I Do This.  I'm Way Too Busy

"When you say 'no' to busyness, it's not because you want to stop being busy, it's because you want to become more immersed, more effective, more energized and more connected."

There's this belief that if we can do more, we'll achieve more. But, if you're just flitting from one task to another, you're never achieving anything of great consequence. You're focused on getting the small, simple things done rather than anything that requires deeper or more complex thinking. So, you might have answered all your emails but you haven't worked on that more time consuming project which would be much more of an effective use of your time as well as being a positive, life changing activity.

 “The opposite of busy in today’s world is sustained, focused attention.” Tony Crabbe

So, not only are you becoming more valuable because you can come up with unique and creative ideas to problems, you're also more valuable because you're being more effective with your time. You're also allowing yourself to have meaningful interactions with others because you're present rather than distracted. And, this all ends up leading to a satisfying life which goes back to being happy and contented with yourself.

So, the real answer is that it's not that you're too busy, it's that you don't have any more time to waste living in a constantly fractured state of mind.

Allowing yourself to get more and more caught up in being fractured, is depriving yourself of the happiness you seek.

How To Start Developing Focused Attention

I can tell you from personal experience that it's horrifying when you first realize how much of your life you've wasted on things that mean nothing. Also, that if you'd just been able to focus, you would have accomplished so much more by now. All the things you've wanted to do with your life, haven't happened and mostly because you couldn't focus on complex tasks.

So, the first thing is to realize how much having a constantly fractured attention is costing you in terms of your happiness, your ability to feel joy, your ability to connect to others, your ability to create anything of substance, and even to have the confidence to walk your own path.

A fractured attention robs you of a meaningful life.

It's Not Going To Be Easy

When you first make the decision that yes, you're going to start having more focused attention, it is hard. Really hard. I'm not going to sugar coat that.

It's an addiction and as with all addictions, it's hard to change. It takes awareness and hard work and grit perseverance to change your brain from being scattered to being focused.

But, to be able to have a life of any meaning at all, you have to do it. You have to make the commitment and start doing something every day, no matter how small, that starts to change your brain. You will also have to be constantly vigilant because it's so easy to slip back into being fractured.

Remember: it's always going to be easier to be fractured than to be attentive.

So, start with:

• Turn off all your notifications and only check your email at certain times during the day.
• Before you check your email in the morning, write down a list of what you want to work on during the day. Plan your day instead of letting others plan it for you.
• Keep this morning list to a manageable number of items. Don't try to do everything in one day.
  
• Do tasks that require deep thinking earlier in the day and before you do mentally tiring tasks like checking emails.
  
• Set up blocks of time when you will only work on one task at a time.
• Work on one task at a time - don't multi-task.
• Make the tough choices to decide what you're going to spend your time on. Know that when you choose to do something it means that you're also choosing to NOT do something. Make wise choices.
  
• Don't mindlessly fritter your time away.
  
• Be aware of what you're spending your time on. Do you really need to play games on your phone? Do you need to check instagram a hundred times a day? Is it necessary to go to that meeting?
  
• Allow yourself time to just "be". Every minute of your day does not need to be spent doing something. Travel time can be a good time to just sit with your thoughts. And, when you do things like going for a walk, be present with your surroundings and enjoy it.
  
• When you're with someone else, be present with them. Don't be thinking about what else you have to do or be looking at your phone.
• Choose to let go of the things that don't add to your life.
• Have the courage to walk your own path instead of being nonstop busy because everyone else is. The busiest person is not the most respected person.
  
• Commit to certain things instead of jumping from one activity to another. This means if you sign up for art lessons, you don't suddenly drop them to start surfing because it suddenly seems more interesting.
  
• Be completely focused on your task even if it's just washing the dishes.
• Remove all the distractions you can. Put your phone away where you can't see it, work in a quiet location, turn off extra noise like radios and tv if you're not actively watching them. Removing distractions is easier than resisting distractions.
  
• Break your day into chunks of activity instead of trying to do a lot of things all at once.
• Try to get more sleep. The more tired you are, the less you can concentrate and the less you'll be able to avoid distractions.
• "Digital clutter is stressful" Cal Newport. Try to eliminate as much as you can. Only use the ones that truly add to your life.
  

Bottom Line

The main concept I want you to get from this article is that if you don't become aware of how you're using your attention and then gain control of your attention, you won't be able to achieve happiness. It's that simple.

Your life is what you choose to focus on. Without focused attention, you'll always be reacting to life instead of choosing your life. You'll also be forever depriving yourself of being able to experience joy and happiness. And, that's a tragedy. Don't let it happen. Start today. Start now. Start managing your attention, not your time.

As you go forward with this, remember this quote:

"It takes work, persistence and, at times, defying those around you. To walk, or run your own path, to move beyond busy is most certainly not the easy route. You could settle for less, you could accept busy; I just encourage you not to." - Tony Crabbe

Did You Just Skim This Article?

Did you just quickly scan this article and read mostly the headlines, glance at a few images? Are you just about to click from here and find yet another article to read?

Take a moment to consider what this article says. If you continue to do what you've been doing, you're agreeing to sacrifice your happiness and to continue to increase your discontent with life. Think about that.

Choose Wisely.

Maybe even read the books below.

This is your life we're talking about. Don't you deserve to be important enough to pay attention to what you're doing with it?

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