i m soo angry person

by moshi
(ontario,canada)

hi.....
i have a 2 years and 7 months baby. Sometimes I am so angry with him and even with my husband. Sometime I feel so sorry for them and feel to hurt myself. At home I feel so alone and I need my parents so bad...they live so far away from where I live and my mother in law live with us. She's doing so many mean things to me. I can't take it any more... I used to be very good friend and I have a lot of friends but now I'm so diffrent because I feel like I'm a bad person. Please help me to control my anger..........I need a better life.

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Sep 02, 2009
 You're not a bad person
by: Catherine, www.Life-With-Confidence.com

Hi Moshi,

You don't sound like a bad person at all. You sound more like an overwhelmed and frustrated person. Sounds like you have a lot happening right now. Also, with two young kids, you're probably not getting enough sleep and are just plain exhausted. That's totally normal.

If I was in your shoes, I'd want my parents too.

I don't think you need to learn how to deal with your anger. It's more you need to listen to what it's telling you. Maybe that you need help or that you need a break to take some time for yourself. Also, that you need help dealing with your mother in law. You don't want to stuff down your anger because that won't work. You need to deal with the issues that are causing you such frustration.

How's your relationship with your husband? Can you talk to him about what's happening between you and your mother in law? Maybe between the two of you, you could come up with some solutions. Or at least he might be a good person just to vent with.

Also, are you able to find any parent support groups nearby? Maybe you could find some other mothers nearby that you could talk to or maybe even take your kids for a few hours so you can have a break and then you could take theirs for a bit so you're both helping each other.

Being a new mother is such a tough job. You need as much help as you can get.

Maybe think about what you think the biggest issue is that you're dealing with. Is it that you're overwhelmed with everything? Are you just too exhausted? Are you frustrated because you have to do everything yourself? Are you angry because you feel like you're all alone? Are you angry because this isn't what you really wanted? What's the big one?

Start there and think about what you would want it to be like instead. For example, maybe it's that you find it too much doing everything. Then, you could start thinking about how to solve that issue. For example, maybe see if you could hire someone to come clean once every 2 weeks, or maybe decide not to worry about being absolutely spotless anymore, or maybe ask your mother in law to contribute more, or even your husband might need to contribute more.

Big hug for you though. I know it's so hard being a new mom. You're truly not a bad person.

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