I've never been here before, but it looks like you have some good points on negative people, and people that took credit for your work.

by imattertoo
(ok)

I've been on both sides of the fence. I want so badly to be a positive person, and be there for people, etc.. but I quite often find myself being that draining person that complains and has negative vibes.

But if I read it correctly, you said that this type of person "hurt(s) others", and I don't know if there might be a better way to word that. Negative people do hurt others in a way, but generally when I say "hurt others" or hear someone else say it, I usually take it as meaning that someone is performing an act intentionally to harm someone else. (Such as meanness, cruelty, hateful, spiteful, vengeful, malicious) you get the drift.

It's important to realize that there are a lot of reasons why someone gets into a negative mode- whether it's short-lived as PMS- or has gone on so long you wonder if it's just who they are.

While it's important to defend ourselves, and have the knowledge that these "vampires" exist... perhaps not all of them intend harm. If we feel like we have knowledge and answers, and such, we need to stay open enough to see that God put us here on this earth not just to survive the negatives of people (negatives of any kind) but also to help others.

Sadly, there are "users" out there. But, there are people that have labeled me as being one thing or another, and they no longer are even open to me. Don't you think that it might hurt someone, if they honestly came for help, and were blacklisted for it?

In all of our dealings with people, we must remember that they are people. Some are users, but some are just needy. If you can't help them, then be honest and upfront in the beginning.

I met a friend who seemed very caring at first. But, once she got all the information she wanted, I was cut off like a phone call. She led me on to think she would help me. Feelings could have been spared had she just told me from the get-go "I'm sorry you are having trouble. I really am not qualified to help you. Perhaps you could get counselling somewhere, I think that would be good for you".

That would have been alot better.

Look, all I'm saying is- some people out there- who have a lot to offer others, are also very needy. And many people who like to believe they have all the answers lead them on to believe they do...all the while, they're more interested in something else.

It's like someone puts out a sign that says "free help", and then when you actually ask for some, they look at you and walk away.

We can't be so interested in defending ourselves (or our reputation for knowing it all) that we close up our hearts to people.