My girlfriend is the vicitm of a blamer - her ex husband

I am in a relationship now with someone whose exhusband is a blamer. He is absolutely textbook from what I have read here - and he really messed her up psychologically. They have kids together so she can never really be totally separate from him, but she wants to be.
The thing is, she is not a blamer - but in dealing with me she has taken on some of the characteristics of one. She had to deal with him for so long - she did not get help or therapy or anything she just coped in some way. But now she has volcanic repressed anger - she won't admit to it, and she takes it out on me. She tends to blame me for everything that goes wrong with our relationship. She says really terrible mean things to me and won't admit they are mean or own up to saying them or acknowledge they could be hurtful. She is not healed.
These Blamers cause so much damage - like ripples in a pond.