Narcissist

by Mana
(India)

I have a narcissist person in my life and that is my mom (described in the article about narcissists called "Always My Fault, Always To Blame"). She is a very negative person and the person behind my low confidence.

Since my childhood, she began to get angry in front of everyone, that was shameful for me. And slowly slowly this turned out on my mind and anything I do she started finding faults. Like if I don't know something in a subject she says, "Oh! you are in a big class now, and you don't know this thing, very bad." She says in this manner that I slowly slowly start thinking is this right whatever i am doing and this leads to my most embarrassing problem that is my shaking hands. She too even says in front of everyone why your hands are shaking and my problem of shaking hands started stronger.

I have one more sister and one more brother. She always point out my weakness in front of everyone. She attacked me yesterday also. My brother wants to have fresh lime soda and he asked me to make it for him. Now I don't know how much lime should be put into that. I put it little less. He tastes it and said you put it less and I said, "I didn't know the amount of lime to put into it", and my mom says,"Yes! she didn't know".

Again negative thoughts arouse in me for sometime and I think positive thoughts. I was successful in this to overcome my negative thoughts but I think my inner side was not satisfied yet. These type of little little thing become bigger for me and I now find that I am useless and can't do anything right.

For quite a few days now, I have started meditating and converting my negative thoughts with my positive ones.

But I need help what should I do in these kind of situations where my mother attacked again and again my thoughts?

Let me tell you just a little bit more about her. She has very good image in her society. My father lives abroad and me, my brother and mom live in India. My sister is married. She brought us alone, like living alone in India with us. Now she thought she had made many sacrifices for us. Yes she made. But where is my father? Nowhere. She counts him nowhere. She loves my brother very much more than us sisters. Tell me what to do. I used your method, when she says some frustrating thing, I ask myself, "Why is this lady is unhappy?
Please send some positive thinking from me. Anyways that doesn't effect me". But I still want to know more.