New daughter in law's undesirable friend

My Son, who is newly married does not approve of his new wife's girlfriend who just got out of jail for public intoxication. She had this girlfriend stay at their home,(he owned home for a year prior to their marriage) with her overnight & my son slept here at my home. He initially, before their recent marriage, had stated he didn't want her friend to ever be in his home & now he is giving in to the new wife & allowing it. I am concerned.

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Visitor's Comments
Date: June 18, 2008
Posted by: Catherine, www.Life-With-Confidence.com

Hi,

Totally natural that you'd be concerned. You want your son to be safe and you don't want anything bad to happen.

Have you ever met the friend yourself? She might be a very nice person who just made a mistake and got carried away too far one night.

It's your daughter-in-law's friend though. So, she's the one that needs to make the decision as to whether this is a good person for her to be friends with or not.

It's also something that your son needs to work out with his wife and it sounds like he has in that he's allowing her to stay there when he's not there. So, if that's the arrangement they've worked out, you'll need to respect that.

Totally natural to be concerned but I think you'll probably feel best if you just remain supportive of whatever decision they make. There's not a lot else you can do. They need to make whatever decision works best for them. And, know that if it turns out that this friend really isn't a good influence, they'll figure that out and make new decisions based on any new information they have.

It's nice that you're concerned though. I think you'll end up regretting it if you do much more than that though. But, know that you've raised your son well and he'll make the best decision for him and his wife.