Step-daughter renting my parents home

by Landlord with feelings
(Michigan)

Hello, I am 51 years old and in August we (my parents and I ) decided that it was time for them to move to a retirement community from their home of at least 25 years. My husband and I moved them in on Sept 1. We had planned for my husbands daughter (who is 30) to rent the house for a while so that the market could improve and when it is time to sell, we can get a better price for it. My husband and SD (Stepdaughter) told me that she planned on moving in October. Two days after we had moved my parents in, my SD stated that she was ready to move into the house. I told my husband that I needed time to clean it and still remove a few things and asked them to wait a few days. She did.

I am having a great deal of trouble with her moving in and I can't seem to shake it off. She is a good kid but for some reason I have the feeling that she is taking over. I know that they say that you should never go back to your home after you sell it. You won't like what the new people have done. But I have to because I have to look after it for my mother. I know that she is only renting and doing what renters do (i.e.painting rooms and changing things around) but I hate it.

When she first moved in, I had asked that she set some items aside(i.e. dishes)that I had not gotten to yet and that I would pick them up soon. The next time that my DH and I had to stop by the house I saw that she was using them as if they were hers. I still have some items there but don't feel that I can go back and get them. But at the same time I feel that I must so that she knows that the house is still my mothers and that I am the one who takes care of it for her.

I feel like I give an inch and she takes a mile. Anything that is ours (her father and mine) she always refers to it as "Dad's".

On top of all of this on Sept. 24th my father passed away. So I am also dealing with those feelings. Help me get out of this selfish (unreasonable)place so that I can deal with the things that need to be taken care of. What can I do to make this a business deal and not so personal?