Terrible father with terrible life

Hi,
For years, my dad neglect his responsibilities.He don't give money to wife and children since marriage. When he was rich, he didn't care about us but only waste all his money on himself. He also went missing for 8 months giving unreasonable answer plus all the money's gone. It was 10 years before, family gone bankrupt due to his corrupted lifestyle and remain jobless. Funny, he's an educated and influenced person. Not only that, he curses, blames, mentally and physically torture us all every time he has the chance. He stopped abusing physically because some of his children success academically, but his attitude got worst, embarrassing us kids continuously.

He constantly say we are insolent children when he's the insolent one. He brags to people as if he sacrifice this and that, but my sacrificed more than him. His sacrifice is just not so important lie for example, we need stuffs to do (priority), mom fulfills it, dad ignore by just blaming saying its our fault like forever. He controls transportation and acts so mighty and bossy. He tell his friends that we family torture him. That's disgusting.
Now I am an adult, his behaviour got worst. He never blames himself. Even if he did, it was never sincere. He blames us family that he's like this. My mom pay all her money for our dad and kids expenses.

Now, I am an adult, whom hated him very much. He publicly framed and inhumane me most of the time especially at my work place. He affects society and give extra conflict in my college. He framed and say out loud, making people believing I'm a cruel daughter. Mom's always influenced by that jerk too and start saying out cursed words and things that humiliate me in public.I know it was my fault, that I answered them back...who can suppressed the anger of those things all the time. Not to mention, my college, I've enough backstabbers, gossipers and such that keeps giving me upset. I never have a single day rest without being criticize. I was being gossiped as evil or spoilt, but neither knows the truth. Lecturers are influenced easily. I get bad grades often because of their judgement. I mean I'm not blaming them fully without a reason. It might be the reason of my failures too. Imagine, I got lots of A's in tests, tutorials, work but then exams often get D's and C's?He always gets away with it.He creates problems and never solve it, we need to solve his problems ASAP because he nags too often.

He's addicted to lottery since young, remembering my past, dad always asks money to buy his needs and lottery tickets. He don't pay back the things he borrowed. He give excuses to friends that he's terribly in need of money as if it's for us. It's embarrassing as mom's money is enough plus shame mom and us kids. We don't use a dime of that money, but his friends and their family look down on us. Because of his daily duty to upset us and as long himself is happy, we get low self-esteem. He's not happy when we're happy. He's just jealous of everyone. He wants everyone to treat him king.He's only happy when we're all upset with no dreams.

My siblings got scholarship, dad took this chance and brags a lot about it as if he's the saviour. He don't do anything about it at all. He borrows, claims his even not asked all the times. Worsen the condition, his family where he brought up with are also as worst as him. They visit often for money and seek pity. Dad and his family has so much in common of blaming others, creating rumours,lies,selfish, ignorant, greedy,two-faced, spread merciless gossips to anyone they know and pity-seeking party. They make dad angry all the time by sending ridiculous tales about us. As usual, his ridiculous family make him insane as his so-called family. When he was in trouble, that family never cares for him. They came for the money.

My big sis (not my mom's child) too inherit father crazy genes with her mother cruel genes(she learns witch craft--creepy). Like his other family,she tells bullshit all the time to make us suffer. She's extremely jealous of me since I was a baby. I got many pics of her in jealousy. Dad always side this bitch who is already 23 years old but dumb, ugly and witch! She always put more salt on the wounded scar that's already big and painful. She has no mercy.Dad pity her because she's not staying with us. Better than never living in living hell. She also frequents asks money to buy her own fancy stuffs which are all branded. Very materialistic.

I'm too ashamed and embarrassed, demotivated me because people keep oppressing me.Results went down that bad. Mom and dad's not helping, blaming continuously on me, as if it's 100% my fault. The society says I am a jerk. I've been an outcast far too long. I even thought of suicide. I want to die. I don't think I deserve heaven, I thought I was guilty all the time. Nobody helps. Friends are just using me. I trust them most of time, they keep deceiving. I'm tired. I am a child, who acts as a parent. People thought I'm spoilt because I wear things look pricey. I told you, my family was rich before but then bankrupt. I wore mom's clothes and bags from those days. I'm just wearing it because mom always told me to. Because,she is now on pension with less money. I've to work for this family before marriage. I'm slave to this selfish people. My big sis never helped even though she worked. I found it useless, I can't be selfish at all. Study, work and no life. I've to give up many dreams due to them. I got to go to good colleges but they say I can't do it. Imagine, one of the top universities. My life's basically over. What's the reason to live longer?