Thank you

by Tam
(Tampa, FL, USA)

I wish your e-book were free; I would love to read it, but can't afford it. But after reading your short introduction here, I'm confident that my current boyfriend is a blamer. We haven't been together long at least--only a little over two months.

Whenever we go out, he can say whatever he wants. When we were standing in a line, he said loudly "this is the slowest line I've ever been in." But every time I have anything remotely critical to say, he accuses me of "practically shouting" and tells me to hush. The other day we were going to a murder mystery dinner and I said "the last one I went to was themed after Get Smart--this one looks like the plot might be a little cheesier" and he immediately tells me to hush and says I'm practically shouting and he doesn't want any of the staff to hear me talking like that. Then he proceeds to complain that "I can't believe the drinks aren't free here--the one I went to in Orlando the drinks were free."

I posted an ad looking for a roommate and he said the ad was too long and wouldn't get any results, and I should have let him write it. I got a response the next day and a woman looked and it and decided to move in the same day; he immediately instead of saying I must have been right, says "she probably hates you; you posted that you were renting out your master bedroom, and the one you're giving her isn't the master," and then proceeds to tell me it's common knowledge that the master bedroom is the one with a bathroom attached, it doesn't matter that the one I'm renting out is larger. He went on for 10 minutes about how I'd better "smooth this over" with her before she moves in because she probably hates me for "deceiving" her--if she did wouldn't she have just not asked to move in???

He always starts arguments with me that end up with me saying "I'm 27 years old, I don't need you to inform me how to live my life!" and him saying "I'm just trying to help you, because you obviously don't know," from everything from how to drive to how to cook--he never compliments, always has SOMETHING critical to say, and always sits there and lectures me on even the simplest of things "just trying to help." But, like with everyone else on here, outside the relationship he has the nicest, friendliest demeanor--in fact he's a successful, charming salesman.